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FOR THE LADS!
What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdown Mycockyoubitch!
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Why do Italians wear moustaches?
So they can look like their mother.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to f**k?
When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Why don't pygmies wear tampons?
They keep stepping on the strings.
What is the definition of making love?
Something a woman does while a guy is humping her
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Why do men like blowjobs?
It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight!
Why are electric trains like a mothers breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but its the fathers who are always playing with them.
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!
What's the best thing about a blow job?
Five minutes peace and quiet.
Why is the space between a girls tits and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of tits in there.
What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
About eight pints of beer.
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