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CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXPLAINED

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. 
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. 
Yanks: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. 
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. 

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. 
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. 
Yanks: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves. 
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. 

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. 
Yanks: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. 
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. 
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. 

Yanks: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. 
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels. 
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels. (or five, if you're lucky.) 
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them. 

Yanks: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball. 
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby. 
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. 
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in. 

Yanks: Spell words differently, but still call it "English". 
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English". 
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans. 
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid. 

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. 
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island. 
Yanks: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. 
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country. 

Yanks: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. 
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. 
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss. 
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. 

Yanks: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect. 
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. 
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. 
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.


Owtback Humour

An important notice Only on the 'net
Lonely hearts club Legend of King Arthur
Famous quotes Disorder in court
Sherlock Holmes GCSE Results
Irish news bulletin "Notes"
Sick statistics Witticisms
Beautiful bovines! His & Her iMac's
Barbie's vacation State of the art
Shane's WebCam Fisherman's friends
StarWars Animal lovin'
Kids Letters It's all in the mind!
Genuine Advertisements Oops!
Welcome to Australia! What the papers say
Oops! II Oops! III
Cat & Mouse One mean pussy!
Free Ads Miracle of alcohol
Welcome to Africa! Female hazards
For the Sheila's! For the lads!
Saucy Postcards I Saucy Postcards II
Welcome to America! Cultural differences
Owtback $$$ Credit Butt of many a joke
The mortuary End of the world!
Close Encounters!! It's all in the mind! II
Men don't baby-sit Problem child
Tribute to Conspiracy Wanna play?
Wassup!? But is it art?
Breast-o-Matic Dead Beaver
Titanic (the sequel!) More beaver!
Save the whale Female mechanics
Need an ego boost? Evolution of Man
In search of the grey fox! 101 Cats in a sack!
Like a glove Drinking Decathlon
Farming Down Under Baby Mops!
Foot & Mouth Owtbreak Aussie 'Agony' Uncle
Wisdom of the Owtback Spot the Peach!
Ultimate Job Top Aussie's
Girlz War Women in IT
Sonar More Movies!

Warning!
Contains "Adult" Material

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